Dear Dad

father daughter wedding

This was my father, the man who loved me even if he didn’t always know how to show it. The man who wanted the very best for me, even if he couldn’t say it.

He was complicated, beautiful, charismatic, sarcastic, intelligent, persistent, and driven. Our relationship was messy, but I know I got his very best traits (except for the weird webbed-toes, thanks for that!). He taught me to work hard, push harder, write a killer thank you note, jump waves, snow ski, argue my opinion, and take a chance on the scary stuff. He made me believe success was there for anyone willing to work for it.

Goodbye, dear Dad. You will never be forgotten, and are loved more than you knew. I take comfort knowing you are finally at peace, whole and new. I know when we see each other again, it will be perfect and right. Give Poppoo a hug for me!

Your adoring daughter, Cass. xo

 

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82 Comments

  1. patti wrote:

    That was beautiful……….

    Posted 12.17.17 Reply
  2. Kristen wrote:

    What a beautiful, beautiful post. Thinking of you, Cassie.

    Posted 12.17.17 Reply
  3. Lori wrote:

    So sorry for your loss Cassie. I lost my dad last year so I sadly can relate to your pain. Your fashion-sense is amazing and I follow your page for inspiration! I couldn’t read your post today without sending you and your family comfort from Illinois, especially so close to the holiday.

    Posted 12.17.17 Reply
  4. Chris wrote:

    Cassie, I am so sorry to hear about your dad!! You and your family are in my thoughts and prayer!

    Posted 12.17.17 Reply
  5. This was a beautiful post to read. Wishing you well. ❤

    Charmaine Ng | Architecture & Lifestyle Blog
    http://charmainenyw.com

    Posted 12.17.17 Reply
  6. Joyce wrote:

    What a beautiful and loving tribute to your father! My own father passed away in 2014 and although I still miss him daily, time has helped to transform the feelings of loss into those of peace: May you and your family find peace in the days to come….

    Posted 12.17.17 Reply
  7. Marty Oravetz wrote:

    Such a beautiful tribute to your dad. My prayers are with you and your family. God Bless.

    Posted 12.17.17 Reply
  8. laura nuss wrote:

    Sending you prayers and thoughts from Colorado.
    Wishing you peace this season.

    Merry Christmas
    laura

    Posted 12.17.17 Reply
  9. This was such a lovely tribute to your dad. And I’m forever grateful that you got his sarcastic gene. It makes my daily life so much fun. Love you, friend. So many prayers for you.

    Posted 12.18.17 Reply
  10. Sandy wrote:

    Dearest Cassie,
    Such a beautiful, loving tribute.
    Thoughts and prayers from Chicago.

    Posted 12.18.17 Reply
  11. Judy Clark wrote:

    Dear Cassie,
    I read your blog every day. One of the things that I observed early on was that the relationship between you and your Dad was not what you wanted it to be. I remind my hubby all of the time that he better make sure that he leaves a loving, supportive legacy to our children. My Daddy was very special to me. I was his baby girl for sure!

    I will pray for you. God Bless You. Thank you for sharing your heart today.
    Judy

    Posted 12.18.17 Reply
  12. Staci wrote:

    So eloquently said. I’m so sorry –letting you into my world each day makes this feel so personal and my heart aches for you, although we’ve never met. XO

    Posted 12.18.17 Reply
  13. Sandy wrote:

    PS- Thank you for opening your heart, home and soul to us.

    Posted 12.18.17 Reply
  14. Terri wrote:

    What a beautiful photo and letter. My sympathy to you and your family at this difficult time.

    Posted 12.18.17 Reply
  15. Carol wrote:

    I’m so sorry for your loss. I’ll be praying for you. He raised a wonderful daughter in you!

    Posted 12.18.17 Reply
  16. Terri wrote:

    My sympathy to you and your family. What a beautiful photo

    Posted 12.18.17 Reply
  17. Andi wrote:

    So sorry for your loss. May your father’s memory be a blessing to you and your family at this difficult time. XO

    Posted 12.18.17 Reply
  18. Kerry wrote:

    So sorry for your thoughts, Cassie. Praying for you and your family during this difficult time.

    Posted 12.18.17 Reply
  19. heather wrote:

    Beautifully written Cassie. Lots of love, thoughts and prayers for you and your family from us.

    Posted 12.18.17 Reply
  20. Brenda Haynes wrote:

    Beautiful. I’m so sorry for your loss. Lifting you and your family up in prayers for comfort and peace.

    Posted 12.18.17 Reply
  21. Jerry Stocks wrote:

    So glad you were able to go see him when you did. Now there are no regrets. So sorry he’s gone and your tribute to him is lovely.

    Posted 12.18.17 Reply
  22. kathy wrote:

    I’m so sorry, Cassie.

    Posted 12.18.17 Reply
  23. Ashley wrote:

    So sorry, Cassie. Hope you can feel a sense of peace that surpasses all understanding. I know your relationship with your dad was messy, but I suspect that you were loved more than you knew too! I know he was proud of you.

    Posted 12.18.17 Reply
  24. MONICA ADDINGTON wrote:

    So sorry for your loss Cassie. Beautiful letter to your Dad.

    Monica

    Posted 12.18.17 Reply
  25. Dawn Scheurich wrote:

    ❤️🙏🏻

    Posted 12.18.17 Reply
  26. I’m sending you so much extra love today. I hope you can feel all the love from all of us who know you and adore you. Your words to your Dad are so beautiful and honest. Proud of you girl. Big hugs.

    Posted 12.18.17 Reply
  27. Jennifer wrote:

    I’m so sorry for your loss Cassie! Sending you and your family hugs and prayers from Michigan!

    Posted 12.18.17 Reply
  28. Karyl wrote:

    I am so sorry for your loss. Many years ago a friend who also has a complicated relationship with one of his parents told me that he remained at peace with the situation because, “In heaven, all relationships will be redeemed.” That insight was so striking that it continues to change the way I act this side of heaven. Thank you for sharing the same wisdom with your readers. ‘Praying for your continued peace.

    Posted 12.18.17 Reply
  29. Susan wrote:

    Tears are flowing after reading your beautiful tribute. Prayers for you and your family.

    Posted 12.18.17 Reply
  30. AliJ wrote:

    So sorry for your loss Cassie, that was beautifully written.

    Posted 12.18.17 Reply
  31. Rachel Steck wrote:

    I am so sorry for your loss, Cassie. My thoughts go out to you and your family.
    xoxo

    Posted 12.18.17 Reply
  32. Marti Gommermann wrote:

    I am very sorry for your loss. The picture of your parents is amazing and I am struck by how much you and your mother look alike. Thank you for sharing…prayers to you and your beautiful family.

    Posted 12.18.17 Reply
  33. Melanie wrote:

    No matter the complexity of a relationship, the heart still aches the same. Be gentle to your soul and find peace in knowing that so many are thinking about you during this difficult time. Sending you strength and support.

    Posted 12.18.17 Reply
  34. Lori wrote:

    Oh Cassie….I’m so sorry. What a lovely tribute. I remember reading a post few years ago about the complicated relationship with your dad. How lucky was he to have a daughter like you with such a big forgiving heart. Hugs and prayers to you and your family.

    Posted 12.18.17 Reply
  35. Kathryn wrote:

    How beautifully and eloquently written. Sending lots of prayers your way!

    Posted 12.18.17 Reply
  36. Jeni wrote:

    Cassie, you have brightened many a day for me since losing my mom suddenly before Thanksgiving in 2015 and then being diagnosed with cancer 2 months later. My mom suffered with mental health challenges my whole life and I have multiple family members who could be described as very complicated/painfully difficult people, but also the most special people imaginable, like your Popoo! You and your family have my deepest condolences and I hope that the amazing life you’ve created provides much comfort at this time. Thank you for heart in everything you do!
    XO!!!

    Posted 12.18.17 Reply
  37. Jeni wrote:

    Sorry, haven’t had enough coffee yet apparently!!! That was supposed to say thank you for sharing your heart in everything you do! You’re the BEST! 🙂

    Posted 12.18.17 Reply
  38. Susan wrote:

    So very sorry for your loss…..

    Posted 12.18.17 Reply
  39. Maureen wrote:

    So sorry for your loss.
    I understand where you are in the grieving.
    My father passed in October and it is still so fresh.
    I am fortunate to have my mother and 6 siblings but still it is personal.
    I wish you all the best for a blessed holiday season.

    Posted 12.18.17 Reply
  40. Wanda wrote:

    Thanks so much for sharing this. I lost my own Dad in July and your words are precious to me in this bittersweet season. Ours was a messy relationship also. Writing about him right away also helped me at the time – I wrote his eulogy. May you find comfort and peace that surpasses understanding in the weeks to come. May your heart and mind be filled with all the beautiful, funny, special memories you have of him. I am so very sorry for your loss. Prayers and blessings to you. xoxo

    Posted 12.18.17 Reply
  41. Jenn DeVille wrote:

    Prayers to you from a small town in Texas!

    Posted 12.18.17 Reply
  42. Stacey Hatem wrote:

    I’m so very sorry for your loss, Cassie.

    Posted 12.18.17 Reply
  43. Heidi Ferguson wrote:

    So very sorry to hear that your daddy passed. All relationships are complicated it seems. It doesn’t surprise me that you chose to see the GOOD in your father and that he was in the end a POSITIVE influence.

    Posted 12.18.17 Reply
  44. Bobbie wrote:

    My deepest condolences to you and your family.

    Posted 12.18.17 Reply
  45. Vee wrote:

    Cassie, I am so sorry for your loss. Hugs to you. If there is anything we, as your online friends can do, please let us know.

    Posted 12.18.17 Reply
  46. Sally wrote:

    Sorry for your loss.

    Posted 12.18.17 Reply
  47. Michele wrote:

    I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my dad last year on Christmas Day. I can honestly say I sympathize with you. I pray that you will have comfort and peace.

    Posted 12.18.17 Reply
  48. Laura wrote:

    Truly sorry for your loss. There are no profound words to comfort you for everyone’s loss is complex and personal making words almost irrelevant. Grieving is a process. We go through this process for the rest of our lives. So don’t look for the end – just ride the waves of grief as they come. Stay strong.

    Laura

    Posted 12.18.17 Reply
  49. elizabeth wrote:

    Thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.I wish you comfort,strength and love.

    Elizabeth, N.Y.C.

    Posted 12.18.17 Reply
  50. Oh, Cassie. I’m so sorry. Sending you and your family light and love.

    Posted 12.18.17 Reply
  51. Jenny wrote:

    Sending prayers for you and your family. Your words are a beautiful way to honor your father. Family can be so complicated but the love between a father and daughter is so special. May the good memories always be what comes to mind and may the Lord be ever near to you right now. Psalm 34:18 The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.

    In Christ,
    Jenny

    Posted 12.18.17 Reply
  52. Sarah wrote:

    I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my father this year as well and find this post so beautiful and touching. It seems like he was very well loved. My condolences to you and your family.

    Posted 12.18.17 Reply
  53. Cathy Tokarski wrote:

    Dear Cassie,

    Joining the community of people here who love and support you, in times of happiness and sorrow. Your father passed on some qualities that helped make you the joyful, funny, and hard-working woman that you are. Praying for your peace and comfort in the days and weeks ahead.
    Cathy (another Chicago fan).

    Posted 12.18.17 Reply
  54. Cassie, I’m so sorry for your loss. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

    Posted 12.18.17 Reply
  55. Tina wrote:

    So very sorry for your loss, Cassie.
    These are beautiful words for a special man, you’ll be in my thoughts and prayers…

    Posted 12.18.17 Reply
  56. GT wrote:

    I’m so sorry for your loss, especially during this time of the year.

    Posted 12.18.17 Reply
  57. Sharon wrote:

    What a beautiful sentiment Cassie. I am so sorry for your loss.
    http://www.forthewonderer.com

    Posted 12.18.17 Reply
  58. What a beautiful photo. So sorry for your loss, Cassie. I’ll be praying for you and your loved ones this week and through the holiday as well.

    Posted 12.18.17 Reply
  59. Monika wrote:

    Losing a father, no matter how complicated the relationship, is truly so sad. Hugs and prayers sent out to you and your family.

    Posted 12.18.17 Reply
  60. Nancy Nimmo wrote:

    What a heartfelt honest tribute and farewell.
    You are a beautiful authentic heartwarming daughter.
    And now a loving giving mother.
    Peace to you.

    Posted 12.18.17 Reply
  61. Jennifer wrote:

    I am so sorry to hear of your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

    Posted 12.18.17 Reply
  62. Michelle wrote:

    Sending love and light from New York. A beautuful letter to share with us. May you find peace at this difficult time, especially so close to the holiday. Lots of love to you.

    Posted 12.18.17 Reply
  63. Robyn wrote:

    So sorry for your loss……may you find much peace, strength and courage in those that love you most xo

    Posted 12.18.17 Reply
  64. Jenny wrote:

    I am so sorry for your loss Cassie. I lost my dad last Easter. It sounds like we had similar relationships with our dads. I will keep you in my prayers.

    Posted 12.18.17 Reply
    • Angela wrote:

      I just lost my dad as well. Thinking and praying for you.

      Posted 12.18.17 Reply
  65. So sorry for your loss! Prayers to you and your family!

    Posted 12.18.17 Reply
  66. Sugar Bostick wrote:

    Prayers for comfort and peace at this time and always. Thank you for sharing your heart.

    Posted 12.18.17 Reply
  67. Angie wrote:

    So sorry for your loss. Thoughts and prayers to you and your family.

    Posted 12.19.17 Reply
  68. Oh Cassie, I am so sorry. Your words are absolutely beautiful. Sending prayers for comfort and hugs to you and your family.

    Posted 12.19.17 Reply
  69. Pam wrote:

    So sorry for your loss. Your message was so well written. Your dad would be so proud.

    Posted 12.19.17 Reply
  70. Shirley wrote:

    The right words are always hard to say, but know that all of those people who you bring joy to on a daily basis, are praying for you and are so sorry for your loss. Thanks for showing that though life and relationships are not always perfect, you can make the best of it.

    Posted 12.19.17 Reply
  71. Ivory wrote:

    So sorry fr your loss. I feel your pain and your joy, because you now knw that God has another angle to look over us all. I feel your pain for the loss f someone so loved and was so close to you, because I loss my parents, it was back to back. There were so many emotions I faced, but God got this, and he only taking the best! Keep your chin up, because, again, God has another best!

    Posted 12.19.17 Reply
  72. Amy wrote:

    What a special post. Ditto.

    Posted 12.19.17 Reply
  73. Mary Catherine wrote:

    Beautiful, heartfelt words. My father passed away 7 years ago on 12/18 and not a day goes by that I don’t think of him and miss him dearly. The holidays are tough but I know he’s in the most glorious place and I have comfort knowing I’ll see him again. I hope that will bring you peace too. God bless you and your loved ones.

    Posted 12.19.17 Reply
  74. Laura wrote:

    I’m so sorry for your loss Cassie. I know how difficult it is to lose a parent.

    Posted 12.20.17 Reply
  75. Lynette wrote:

    Oh, Cassie, I’m so, so sorry for your loss. I wish you days of peace and love with your family over the holidays. Take time for yourself during this vulnerable time. Love to all of you.

    Posted 12.20.17 Reply
  76. Debra wrote:

    I am so sorry. 😔

    Posted 12.21.17 Reply
  77. Jackie Carlon wrote:

    I read your post to your dad and it could have been written to my dad. I too lost dad nearly 4 years ago and he too was difficult, sarcastic, stubborn and a ‘hard’ ‘hard’ chocolate with a gooey centre; getting to that centre was a journey in itself! Upon reflection he taught me the most. To do an honest day’s work for an honest day’s pay, never be afraid to get your hands dirty and don’t take c**p from anyone. He was a hard, hard man but in the 51 years I had him I never ever ever heard him swear neither to anyone, or about anyone. He was a troubled man and it sounds like he’d be enjoying a beer/cup of tea with your dad, wherever that may be. Hopefully we’ve done them proud. Merry Christmas from the land down under xx

    Posted 12.22.17 Reply
  78. Kristie W. wrote:

    I missed your original post and saw the link in your newsletter today, so deeply sorry for your loss. Sending hugs and prayers to you and your family.

    Posted 1.13.18 Reply
  79. Anna M wrote:

    Beautifully said SugarPlum. I am 26 and lost my father very suddenly this past May. He was of a different generation with traits similar to what you described above. From a stranger, it might seem odd to say, but it’s okay to be sad. I still have a few moments where I catch my feelings and tear up – at home, work, the post office. It’s not weird. It is normal. The moments have further space between them now, and it has become easier to remember with joy instead of sadness. My thoughts are with you and your family in this time.

    Posted 1.22.18 Reply
  80. Susan skilton wrote:

    Cassie, I am so sorry for your losing your daddy. Families are sometimes complicated…. I hope you are feeling peaceful, and find joy in precious memories as you celebrate his life❤️

    Posted 12.17.20 Reply
    • Cassie wrote:

      Thank you so, so much Susan <3 <3 <3

      Posted 12.17.20 Reply