My mom and I have two very different shopping styles. She loves to stroll through every store, stopping to touch virtually each item, then call me over to see each new discovery. I shop with specific items or purpose in mind…I can stand in the doorway and know immediately if the shop is worth checking out. My mom will go in just because it’s open.
A few weekends ago, her town was having a ‘Christmas on the Square’ event, so we met for an afternoon of lunch and shopping. After a few stores, and my 87th ‘oh yeah, that’s cute!’, I started migrating to the snack tables to keep myself occupied (because remember, I assessed the store in 2.5 minutes, she needed another 30 to see and touch everything).
One particular store had a plate of homemade bark that I couldn’t seem to stay away from. Every few minutes, I’d casually walk by and snag another piece. At one point my mom even said, ‘How many of those are you going to eat?!? You’ve almost finished the entire plate!’ At which point I wanted to say, ‘Listen, lady, you’re the reason I just ate 47,000 calories of crack, so you’d better buy something in this friggin’ shop!’ Oh wait, I did say that. It must have been all the sugar talking.
I finally hunted the store owner down, and demanded in my most polite tone for the recipe of the bark she dared put in front of unsuspecting people. It cost me my firstborn, but since he’s now a teenager, I felt like it was a fair trade.
Oh you salty, sweet, chewy, crunchy devil…..you’d better Git in Mah Belly!
We promptly shoved back the entire first batch without stopping to breathe or chew. So a second batch was required for the neighbor gifts. Good thing it’s so fast and easy to make!
Disclaimer: Make this recipe at your own risk…Hi Sugarplum is not liable for any irrational behavior that may stem from eating this crack.
you are my kind of shopper- assess and leave or assess and quickly shop. 🙂
and i am glad your trade was fair for the recipe… 😉 that cracked me up!
This looks so flippin' good! I want some. Right now!!!
This looks so good and easy! I think I'm going to tackle this for teacher gifts! Love it!
mmmm this sounds sooo good!! (and im the same way when i shop – in and out…unless there is free sugar). xo jillian – cornflake dreams
I look forward to reading your posts!! Thanks for making my day today!! I was laughing so hard reading this 🙂 I can't wait to make and try this crack
Same shopping styles for me and my mom. We flew up to Chicago for a girls day of holiday shopping a couple years ago. I loooove shoe shopping, but over 2 hours in Macy's just looking for talk black boots for her was maddening.
I had to laugh because I shop the same way you do! My friends always hated shopping with me as a teenager. I'd go to the doorway of a store, do a quick scan and say yes or no if I'd be able to find anything I liked. The recipe sounds delish! What's better than, salty, sweet, and chocolate?!
bahahaha! hilarious!
Pinned! I am SO making this.
Ha- that sounds just like me and my mom. I'm way too impatient to just browse. This treat sounds delish and just might be our dessert tonight!
This must have been in McKinney – there's a store here on the square that had something like this. The temptation was hard to ignore, but I managed to walk by and instead find wine at another store. :b
This looks DELISH! And easy (God bless the easy Christmas recipes!). 🙂
This looks incredibly yummy!!! Thank you for sharing! I am pinning it now to try to make soon.
You are hilarious and thank you for sharing. I will definitely make this!!! And I'm going to print the "crack gift tags" from Joy's Hope blog to put on the gift bags.
Cassie this is just perfect for the holiday gathering, How delish! Thanks so much for sharing the recipe with us! Yum!
xoxo
Karena
The Arts by Karena
You know what would be a FANTASTIC idea? MAKING THIS FOR YOUR CO-WORKERS. Yes, you should TOTALLY do that.
I am cracking up at your account of shopping with your mom! My mom cannot make decisions to save her life and I'd rather stick pins in my eyes…she likes to go shopping to "get ideas" and then next thing you know it's Dec 23rd and she hasn't purchased anything. Thanks for making the deal to get this recipe..sounds like it would go straight to my ass for sure! Yum
Oh Lord. This could have been a very bad post for me to read. I have all of these ingredients. I know where I'll be the rest of the evening (working off the pound of crack bark I'm about to partake in).
Why oh why did I look? It reminds me of a similar "crack" I make with saltines…a new vice to add to my arsenal. I only make it when we're having a party or I'm taking it somewhere. Dangerous!
You shop like I do and my mom shops like your mom. So funny!!!! I've been making a recipe that calls for saltines rather than pretzels for years. Now I need to try it with pretzels. Yummy.
Oh my!!! Making this ASAP–looks SO good.
LOL! I just had a similar situation at a work party. The culprit was similar to the recipe you have here, but with saltines instead of pretzels. Crazy delicious. Make it for all your neighbors to be popular all year long!
I couldn't pin this fast enough! Try shopping with a mom who wanders off (yes I've considered a kiddie leash) and then pages you like a lost 5 year old over the store's PA system. Yes….yes she does have a cell phone.
Love it! You had me laughing early this morning!! You better believe I'm making those today!
My mom shops the same way – she has to look at everything! I need to pack my own crack the next time we shop together. 🙂
I made this when I hosted my daughters engagement party, it was delicious and completely gone…
A) I love the story and the way you tell it and B) this looks entirely too delicious not to try! Just as well it's Fatmas 😉 P.S. Your Mum and I would get along famously; yep…I'm a toucher! lol
Ooh I read this at a red light so I was able to stop to get pretzels and butter. Sounds exactly like saltine toffee "cookies", just line the pan with saltines, pour the hot toffee over the saltines then sprinkle on chocolate chips and spead once they melt. Break up once cooled completely. Will be msking this pretzel version today. Would be awesome it there was some peanut butter in these too.
Hi, a question regarding the recipe…the 1 cup of butter…is this 2 full sticks melted or 1 cup of melted butter which is probably more than 2 sticks I think? Silly I know, but just want to make sure I do it right! Sounds divine! Thanks!
Hi Jackie — 2 full sticks 🙂 xo
Okay, question. So, I made this last night and while DELICIOUS, the butter/sugar mixture never really got hard. It's hard-ish, but the crack still falls apart pretty easily. Is that the way it's supposed to be or should it be rock hard?
Hmmmmm, no, it shouldn't fall apart or be rock hard. It's a gooey chewy consistency. the only thing I can think is make sure you have the correct butter/brown sugar ratio…and you get a slow boil for a full 3 mins without stirring. Some of my batches are gooier than others, but it's more to do with how many pretzels I use. Good luck…I hope this helps!! xo
So, how many pretzels DO you use, roughly…will it be less than the whole bag? Because I need to either have some leftover for pecan caramel pretzel "turtles" or get another bag!
I crumble just enough to cover the bottom of the cookie sheet in a single layer. Next time I make it, I'll count the cups so I can update the post. 🙂 xo
Thanks, Cassie! I made these tonight…they were as addictive as you promised! Thanks! Merry Christmas!
I had the same result-never got to the point I could break apart. I followed the direction exactly.
Help Please!
Hi sweets — see my comment above! xoxo
I just made this and OMG! And it was really funny hearing my 2 and 4 year old saying "crack". 😂 Thanks for that. 😊
You are definately my kind of shopper!! I want in and out as soon as I can. I made the Christmas toffee today and the is very similar and very easy as well. I line the parchment paper with saltines instead of the pretzels, otherwise the recipe is exactly the same. I made two batches today for teachers at school and my fitness trainer.
I’ve always made this with saltines. The pretzels must take this to an entirely new level!
I’m trying this one out tonight!
You and your mom are so adorable. I love your dressing room diaries and your shopping styles sound a little like my mom and me except my darling mom is stuck on a few favorite stores. If they don’t have what she wants, we *still* have to spend hours there leaving no stone unturned. She’s so loyal to a particular store that she insists they will have the just right birthday/Christmas/Easter/party outfits for my two teenage daughters (they never do). The crack looks incredible and DANGEROUS. Must make immediately! MerryMerry!!
I’ve made this for years but with Breton Crackers. I love the ide of pretzels!!!
For the people who said theirs didn’t turn out right perhaps you brought the butter sugar mixture up to a boil too fast. I melt it to start on low and use a whisk to incorporate. THEN increase heat to the roiling boil mentioned in this post and don’t forget the oven step.
Well, this just makes my heart sing with happiness… I try to stay away from this dessert because the name says it all, but I had all the fixin’s for pretzel turtles except for Rolos, which Walmart was all.out.of. and I’ll be more than happy to make this version! Thanks for sharing!!
I loved that you used the phrase, “get in mah belly” so much!! I’ll throw that out there with the kids sometimes (6 of them) and they all just stare at me. Even when I tell them the reference or show them the clip, they just don’t get it. Guess you had to watch the movie first time around and live through the whole Austin Powers franchise to get it! Glad I’m not the only one who still pulls that phrase out! Merry Christmas to you and your beautiful family!!
hahaha, def use it more than I should!! Merry Christmas to you! xo
Like you, I am one of those “impatient cows” who had to put this in the freezer and have already made two batches to share (eat on our own). O M G… this stuff is easy and completely incredible… thanks so much for bringing this into my life.